Why You're Avoiding The Most Powerful Force in Healing and How To Stop.

Why is it so hard to say, "I forgive you" ? We asked our Outsider Nation Facebook group why they think it's so hard and they came up with some incredible answers:

"Forgiveness is hard because it’s vulnerable. Anger is a powerful shield to hide behind… but it’s also a prison. I’ve learned that forgiveness always equals freedom — whether I’m forgiving myself or someone else." -Janelle W.

"For me, the hardest part is forgiving someone that caused trauma in my life. Whether they are sorry or not- it’s a necessary piece for my grief and healing but it’s so hard when you have to deal with the trauma separately afterwards without feeling animosity." -Amy K.

"Easy, Pride." -Tom V.

"It’s hardest to forgive when someone doesn’t own the hurt they caused." -Teri S.

Broaching the subject of forgiveness, whether we're forgiving ourselves or forgiving the people around us, usually requires a little, honest look at who we are, where we are, what we're doing and why we're struggling to forgive.

WHAT IF... Forgiveness has nothing to do with letting some one off the hook? What if forgiveness isn't about modifying the other person's behavior. What if forgiveness is 100% about you??

Forgiveness might lift a burden from the offending party... but it will absolutely FREE US from the prison of bitterness and anger. When we forgive, we're choosing to decide the other person or situation doesn't get a vote in how we show up, in how we love, in how we let others in and ultimate how we go after our dreams.

Once you can love yourself enough to forgive yourself you're in control. You've taken control away from that pain and you no longer have to respond in a negative way. Forgiveness truly is freedom - so HOW do we do it???

1) We have to choose to forgive ourselves first. The first step in doing that is for you to acknowledge where you've grown, instead of focusing on what's been taken away or where you've been hurt. That's it. Embrace how far you've come, what you've learned and how you've changed. Own your part and ask for forgiveness if necessary.

2) Choose to believe the other person is doing the best they can with what they have. This doesn't mean what they did is ok. This doesn't mean boundaries aren't needed. It means in order to transform our hearts we have to look at the person who has hurt us, look at what they've come from and how they're broken and CHOOSE to believe they're doing their best to wade through their own brokenness. This is hard because choosing compassion sometimes feels like we're giving them a free pass, but really it means that we're healed enough to see the person separate from the behavior and we're brave enough to forgive while also not allowing that hurt and brokenness to seep into our own lives.

It's not easy but it is simple. No magic tricks, just love, compassion, honesty and courage. Forgiveness isn't the end game - it's the first step in a journey of healing and recovering.

As we head into this holiday season, why not do it from a solid emotional foundation? There's nothing more powerful in our lives than FORGIVENESS... for ourselves and those who have hurt us!

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this! Check out our podcast here:

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And then join our Outsider Nation Facebook group to tell us what you think!

We love you! We're with you and we're wishing you THE MOST amazing Holiday season ever!!!

C.J. & Lindsay

P.S. Our new Rebel King Roast: Sumatra Blend will be available at the stand and online STARTING FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26.

P.S.S. Our Holiday Menu is Launching on Friday starring the always popular Clark Griswold Caramel Eggnog Breve!!

P.S.x3 We're soooooooooooo excited to host a Power Hour next Weds. December 1st with Erickson Construction LLC!! More info to come but it will start at 11 am and go until their gift card runs out! (REFRESHER: A POWER HOUR IS WHEN A BUSINESS BUYS YOU A DRINK WHEN YOU BUY A SECOND DRINK OR ANY OTHER ITEM!!) We're sooooo excited to partner with a company that loves our community so well!!!


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