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OUTSIDER NATION EPISODE #13



Lindsay McPhail (00:11):
Welcome back to the Outsider Nation Podcast, where your host CJ and Lindsay McPhail.
CJ McPhail (00:18):
Hey guys.
Lindsay McPhail (00:20):
I'm Lindsay.
CJ McPhail (00:21):
That's good to know.
Lindsay McPhail (00:22):
I'm trying something a little different today. Holy moly it's hard to talk. We are talking about your daily strategy to achieve the impossible in your life.
CJ McPhail (00:38):
Yes. Your daily strategy to achieve the impossible. To achieve the impossible. Neither one of us can talk very well today. Good night. This is really important. It goes I think along the lines of so much of what we've already been discussing on the podcast if you've been listening at all. Today we just want to add some elements and literally give you our daily strategy and what we believe should be your daily strategy to help you achieve those dreams, to help you achieve that opportunity, to help you go after that risk or that impossible situation in your life that you know is holding you back. It could be losing weight. It could be a broken relationship. It could be a business that needs to be launched. It could be a career that needs to be left behind or restart it. There are so many different ways and all of us are in so many different scenarios in our lives that we want you to understand this can be applied to all of those situations.
Lindsay McPhail (01:33):
I would like to note this isn't original to CJ and Lindsay. This is something you could go to any coach, any coaching organization, I think any business building organization, and they're going to give some version of this. We were talking today and just talking about the impossible dreams that we've had and what's been the daily scenario for us as very driven individuals in some parts of our lives. What makes those things where other people would scoff or laugh at maybe the dreams that we have set out, what makes those seem possible to us? There's three questions and we're going to get to them, but first I want to lay the groundwork. We break our lives up into four areas. You came up with these four F words.
CJ McPhail (02:29):
Faith, family, fitness, and finance. Yes. All F words. Good alliteration helps you remember things so it's why I like it, but faith, family, fitness, and finance. That's how we tend to look at our lives.
Lindsay McPhail (02:41):
It breaks up everything that you could go through or any goal that you could set lands in one of those four very general categories. We talk a lot about our journey with Outsider, because this is Outsider Nation and because we're so passionate about our business and not just our business, but impacting the community. That's where we tend to land, but nothing on any of our podcasts is only for business, or only for family, or only for faith, or only for fitness. You could apply the principles that we're talking about to your specific thing. We're just happening to talk about our business journey a lot of the time because it's fresh. We're in it because we are up to our eyeballs in risk at the moment. I mean in a year from now we could be talking about our health journey.
CJ McPhail (03:37):
That's good.
Lindsay McPhail (03:38):
Yeah. This idea that asking ourselves three questions every morning, and I would go actually a little bit farther. CJ's a journaler. Journaler, is that a verb?
CJ McPhail (03:52):
That sounded I think we knew what we were talking about.
Lindsay McPhail (03:55):
Okay. He is someone who consistently... He has loads of journals because he writes in his journal daily. It's not always dear diary.
CJ McPhail (04:07):
It's never dear diary for the record, ever.
Lindsay McPhail (04:11):
I have just recently started being consistent with this in an idea of an outcome journal. It's just works with my personality in terms of checklists and what I want to do, but these questions that we are going to present you right now can work for any area of your life. Statistically, we are 42% more likely to actually do something when we write it down. I love this idea of waking up 15, 20 minutes early in the day, or if you're a night person, which I am not, go to bed 15 or 20 minutes later at night to write these things in your journal.
CJ McPhail (04:51):
Or earlier, but just saying 15 to 20 minutes later. Come on.
Lindsay McPhail (04:57):
Whatever, whatever.
CJ McPhail (04:57):
Yes, I would vote on earlier if you need more time, but I want to just set the stage very quickly that what this requires today and what would always require of all of us that are serious about moving forward, is an honest assessment. We're going to give you these simple questions like Lindsay said. I mean so much of this is so out there. This is not like oh, look what we wrote and created, and only it's us, we're going to trademark it. It's not like that, but we have taken what we're going to tell you today and lived it in a real way and had some great results. All great results, of course not, but we've had some great results overall. We're really excited about that. We see how this is setting us up on a trajectory that in a really short amount of time, honestly, just over two years, it's really changing the game for our lives.
CJ McPhail (05:46):
I believe it's changing the game for our boys. I believe it's changing the game for our legacy, a word that's abused, but I really mean it in the truest sense what this is going to mean in 20, or 30, or 40, or 50, or 100 years. I believe it's through what we're going to tell you today.
Lindsay McPhail (06:01):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (06:02):
None of this will work if you're not willing, to be honest with yourself.
Lindsay McPhail (06:07):
Yes.
CJ McPhail (06:07):
Most of us struggle with that. I do too. We see things that remind us of something we know needs to change and we move on or we look the other way, or we change the channel, or we walk to the other aisle because we don't want to be confronted with that. If that's what you are avoiding, if you're avoiding these things, then it's never going to stick. These questions are going to sound interesting, and cute, and fluffy, and it's not going to go any further than that. But if you're willing to have an honest assessment, you'll be amazed at what you'll be saying to somebody in two years from now, a year from now, heck a month from now, heck by the end of this year. It's 2021 right now.
CJ McPhail (06:43):
We've got six or so weeks or eight weeks, whatever it is left of the year. You could be amazed what you'll be doing with that. The questions then come through these forms. I'll do the first one. Where am I? The question is where am I? Where am I with my health? Where am I with my finances? Where am I with moving forward on my dreams? Where am I with my marriage? Where am I with my relationship with my kids? Where am I with how I just talk about myself, just to myself, just my thoughts, where am I? I can keep going but I think you all get the point Where are you in these important areas of your life?
Lindsay McPhail (07:18):
I think the more detailed you can be the better. Obviously, it is unrealistic to think I'm going to well, I am the type of person who would like to list out the four areas and write where I want to be in each one, and then write lofty, crazy goals, and then kick the crap out of myself when I don't meet them every single day. I think for the sake of this exercise, this practice, this daily habit, it's really important to focus on one area at a time.I could be wrong.
CJ McPhail (07:50):
No.
Lindsay McPhail (07:52):
Every time I've tried it a different way, it doesn't work. To say in whatever area you are thinking feels impossible right now. For us, we have this impossible dream of how we want to impact the world with Outsider. It's so impossible when we tell people this is a reaction we usually get, you're being serious
CJ McPhail (08:13):
Like really? What? In that short amount of time, how are you going to do that? Which is the wrong question.
Lindsay McPhail (08:19):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (08:19):
But how are you going to do that?
Lindsay McPhail (08:20):
Yeah, okay.
CJ McPhail (08:20):
Yeah, that's what we get.
Lindsay McPhail (08:22):
My point to this is we have to be specific. Your point, we have to be honest. And so when we look at ourselves, we could be like yeah, we're doing okay. We're doing great. Our business is doing great in Oregon there without us. We have an incredible team and yeah, it's great. Okay. That's not a lie, but that is not specific. If we want to be really honest with who we are and where we want to be better in this area, we have to be willing to look at the places where we are falling short. Maybe it's because we're a husband and wife team, maybe it's in our marriage that's affecting different things, maybe it's in our health because we don't have enough energy to get the things done that we need to get done. Whatever it is you can't be vague and you can't be general when you answer the question, where am I? We have to be willing to face the things that we don't want to face, which is why we don't tend to ask ourselves this question.
CJ McPhail (09:21):
Correct It's a simple powerful question that changes everything for those that have the courage, to be honest about it. So faith, family, fitness, and finance, those are our four sort of quadrants of life, how we choose to break life down. Which one of those as I say those out to you? Faith, family fitness, or finance? Pick one. Let's call family. Let's just use family as an example. Where are you with your family? Where are you? Specifically, who comes to mind when I say, family? Is it your mom? Is it your oldest son, your youngest daughter, a coworker? Is it your husband or your wife? Who comes to mind? Okay. Where are you with them specifically? There's a reason why they're popping in your head right now.
Lindsay McPhail (10:10):
Yep.
CJ McPhail (10:11):
I don't claim to know what those reasons are and they're not all bad, but where are you with that person in that category? Next question.
Lindsay McPhail (10:18):
Yes. Next question is where do I want to be? Where do I want to be? Whether it's next month, next year, in five, or seven years, what's the ultimate goal that I'm going for, like the big picture, the big daddy hairy scary, crazy-ass dream?
CJ McPhail (10:39):
Yeah.
Lindsay McPhail (10:39):
If anything could be possible in this scenario if my marriage could be saved, if I could be debt-free, if I could lose 50 pounds, if my business could just explode, if I could experience my faith in a whole different way I ever thought possible, whatever it is for you, where do you want to be? Be specific.
CJ McPhail (11:05):
Yes. Be specific, which takes courage, but be specific. In that specificness make sure you include or focus on yourself. This is really a trick to this.
Lindsay McPhail (11:17):
Yep.
CJ McPhail (11:18):
Because you can be specific about them. Well, I'll be specific. If he would only do A, B, and C, then I wouldn't have to be even thinking about this right now but because he can't get his act together or she will never stop X, Y, or Z, I wouldn't have to, you fill in the way. See, no, no, no. This is not an outward focus. This is an inward focus. The question is where do you want to be? Where do I want to be? Answer that and then the third question is?
Lindsay McPhail (11:49):
Third question. What has to happen today? Today I think is the part of the sentence that is the most critical because if we look at our big, scary, crazy dream of what we want to accomplish in the next seven years if I just said, what has to happen? I mean I could give you a list a mile long that is truly seemingly impossible but if I say what has to happen today? I know exactly what I have to do. For me, I'm not a phone talker at all.
CJ McPhail (12:24):
True. Very, very true.
Lindsay McPhail (12:27):
There tends to be a lot of phone calls involved in this stage of the game and I know what has to happen for me today. Well, I need to call this person because we need to get square on what's going on. I have to face a fear. I have to do the thing I don't want to do, but I know the thing that I have to do today, the thing that is staring me in the face today is this. Then tomorrow when I wake up and I ask myself, and I journal these three questions, where am I? Where do I want to be? What has to happen today? My answer tomorrow is going to be different in this what has to happen today? Tomorrow is going to bring its own set of things. Tomorrow is going to bring its own challenges, or maybe it's a day off, whatever it is. When we ask ourselves this daily, we chip away at it daily. That is what makes the impossible possible.
CJ McPhail (13:24):
I'll give you a quick real-world example for Lindsay and I literally just in the last six hours. Finance is something that we're really focused on right now as we begin a really major expansion of our company. Now we've been pre-approved by an organization and we're grateful for that, but the terms for us are horrific. We get mad talking about it. We can't believe that they want us to give all of our limbs to make this happen.
Lindsay McPhail (13:55):
Just one limb, okay. Just one.
CJ McPhail (13:56):
Let me run you through my thinking as I woke up this morning. Where am I? Well, I'm angry. I'm grateful that we have financing options and we've been pre-approved for those options. That's awesome. It took a lot of work all by itself, but I'm also angry at the terms. This is embarrassing. Why would anybody... I told Lindsay I'd be embarrassed in the email that we got last night. However, that's where I am and I need to be honest. See, I'm being honest. I'm being brutally honest with that. I'm being honest with myself. Where do I want to be? Well, I want to be at a place where we have an option that we both agree feels right. It's not perfect.
Lindsay McPhail (14:32):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (14:32):
You know, if we could draw up our own terms, we would, but we're not in that position so it's not perfect, but I want that. That's what I want. What has to happen today? Well, this is the hard part. I said to Lindsay, excuse me, this morning, I was sitting on the couch. I'm not happy with where this is. I think we need to pursue some other options. We are literally just going online, et cetera, called a friend, talked to some other people, got some calls back, and ended up talking to a vice president of a large financial organization in South Carolina and it feels like we have some traction. I could have wallowed in the fact which I'm good at and I do all and time that I'm frustrated and disappointed, and angry that even though we've been pre-approved, it sucks but I had to ask myself these questions. That's not where I want to be.
Lindsay McPhail (15:21):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (15:22):
Where do I want to be? I want to get to a point where we can both agree that we've got some financing that makes sense for us. We both look at it and go, it's not perfect, but dang, let's do this.
Lindsay McPhail (15:29):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (15:30):
What needs to have happen today? Well, we need to get our butts in gear and make some hard calls. It's hard to call a senior executive of an organization, a bank, or a credit union, and all the other things that you don't know. It's hard to do that, but we ended up having some really positive, I think very positive actually conversations that I think probably by this time tomorrow, are going to lease us some rate outcomes. We'll see. That's the process. How many of us wallow in that first stage and never get ourselves out of it?
Lindsay McPhail (15:59):
Exactly. I don't think it's even intentional. It's just like well, I don't know. Well, maybe we play around with things in our head, but for me, the clarity comes with writing it out. This idea of outcome journaling, it can look a million different ways. For us, answering these questions and sometimes they get more complex. Sometimes our answers are long. Sometimes they're short. Sometimes our where do we want to be is that big hairy scary goal that's a decade down the road and sometimes it's quite close. And so you can see how you can use this in every area of your life. Okay. Well, with my health journey I want to feel a certain way, or I want to lose a certain amount of weight. Well, if that's in front of me every single day, where am I? Well, this is where I am. I feel like I got ran over by a garbage truck because I ate McDonald's at nine o'clock last night. I hope my sister's not listening.
CJ McPhail (16:54):
Just saying, just saying.
Lindsay McPhail (16:55):
In theory, in theory.
CJ McPhail (16:56):
In theory, yeah. Asking for a friend.
Lindsay McPhail (16:59):
Where do I want to be? I want to have energy. I want to not be grumpy. I want to have clarity around my thoughts and where we want to go. Okay, so what's going to make that happen today? Well, I got to stick to my fasting. I need to be drinking my water. I need to up my protein. Okay. That's so general, that's so just cut and dry, but it keeps you on track. If you're starting your day this way or for you crazy psychotic night people, if you're ending your day and thinking of where you want to be tomorrow, it keeps it in the front of your mind.
CJ McPhail (17:34):
Yes. I want to add just one little element and we're going to wrap this up because you guys know what to do. It's up to you to go do it, but 42% more chance if you write it down. Now for me, as Lindsay mentioned, I like to write things down. I'm sort of a geek that way. I do have like 30 journals that are full front page, back page all the way through. They're not dear diary. They are just reflections of where I am, and what I'm struggling with, and what I'm excited about my life. I really look forward to giving those to our sons someday. However, also adding more power to that, far more power to that, is saying it out loud. Telling people that are in your circle, whoever they are.
Lindsay McPhail (18:17):
That's good.
CJ McPhail (18:18):
If there's one or 50, I don't care but tell people. This is where I am. This is where I want to be, and this is a step I'm going to take, but I need your help.
Lindsay McPhail (18:26):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (18:27):
This morning, it doesn't have to be that complex. This morning I just looked over at Linds and it's not something that we have great joint excitement talking about together all the time. I felt like almost a little bit of a risk because we're in this conference and I didn't want to disrupt the conference, this online conference. I said, "Okay, I just need to tell you I am not happy with this. I am really genuinely the more I look at it, the more I read it, I don't want anything to do with this." I said it out loud. It wasn't just a matter of writing something down. It's a matter of saying something out loud. And then the two of us together worked hard to get to some calls and, some emails, and et cetera. It looks like things might go the right direction. We'll see. Say it also speak it. Talk to somebody about it. You can't do this alone. In our podcast last week we talked about asking for help. This is an opportunity where maybe it's not so much asking for help as it is just telling somebody this is where I am.
Lindsay McPhail (19:26):
And you know if it has to do with something else, say not business, but when on those days that seem to be few and far between right now, but I'm feeling very convicted when I'm like babe, I'm going to work out. Babe, I'm going to drink my water. Well, I feel accountable to you to say Hey, I did. I went and did my Peloton class, or oh my gosh, I drank more water than I thought. It's just a way of neither of us like the word accountable. It's probably something we need therapy over.
CJ McPhail (19:58):
Probably.
Lindsay McPhail (19:58):
But it's true. You're beholden to your own word. It's someone else is when you put it out there, then you either have to work with it, deal with it, do it, whatever, otherwise, you have to go back to that person and be like just kidding.
CJ McPhail (20:14):
Yes.
Lindsay McPhail (20:15):
So.
CJ McPhail (20:15):
Where are you? Where do you want to be? What has to happen today? Where are you? Where do you want to be? What has to happen today? Do those three things, answer those three questions, and use some honest, some real honest courage, and watch your life change in ways you can ever imagine. I want to say one more thing, babe. Earl Nightingale, some of you know who he was.
Lindsay McPhail (20:39):
Oh, yeah. That's good.
CJ McPhail (20:39):
Some of you don't. It doesn't matter. He's sort of like the godfather, one of the originators of personal development. He was the very first one as he's credited. I don't know all the facts. Somebody might tell me I'm wrong when I say this. He was one of the first, if not the first to ever record a personal development recording. His very first recording was called The Strangest Secret. You can watch it. I've listened to it several times. You can YouTube it. Listen to it, but The Strangest Secret. What is the strangest secret according to Earl Nightingale and I totally agree with him? You become what you think about. You become what you think about. One of the ways that you've gotten to where you are is you've thought yourself there in a way, and you allow some of these things to consume you.
Lindsay McPhail (21:22):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (21:22):
One of the things that I love about these three questions, just to give you another angle at this to see how powerful it is. This gives you the ability to change your thinking.
Lindsay McPhail (21:31):
Yeah.
CJ McPhail (21:31):
It changes it. When you start answering these questions honestly about yourself, you start seeing that in other people. You go to the store and the store is a different experience. You have conversations with your best friend, your mom, whoever's in your inner circle, and you start saying things to him or her that maybe you haven't said in a long time if have ever, and it begins to change how you think. As you begin to change how you think, everything else follows. It's such a good thing,
Lindsay McPhail (21:58):
It's truly the way we dwell in possibility.
CJ McPhail (22:02):
Yes.
Lindsay McPhail (22:03):
And take those impossible things that feel like it's for somebody else and not you, and it breaks it down, and it makes it possible.
CJ McPhail (22:11):
Yeah.
Lindsay McPhail (22:12):
The important thing about that is that's what you're created for.
CJ McPhail (22:16):
Yeah.
Lindsay McPhail (22:16):
You're created to live in this space that is possible, but feels impossible because truly you are unique in your giftings. You are beautiful and amazing, and strong, and wise because of everything you've been through. So why not? Why not live the life that you were created to live? Why not live it to its fullest? That's my thinking.
CJ McPhail (22:38):
Let's do it.
Lindsay McPhail (22:40):
All right. Okay. Here's what we want you to do. For one week, if you have the courage or the discipline, however you want to phrase it, we challenge you for one week. You will come back next Monday to this podcast having done this for one solid week. You will write this down and answer these questions every single day, even on the weekend.
CJ McPhail (23:02):
At least do it with the four areas. Remember write them down. For our perspective, they're faith, family, fitness, and finance. At least in the next week, ask yourself these three questions of each of those areas of your life. Where are you with your faith? Where do you want to be? What has to happen today? Where are you with your family? Where do you want to be? What has to happen today? Where are you with your finances? We don't like talking about that. Where do you want to be? What has to happen today? You can see how in one week you completely upend your life in the best of ways.
Lindsay McPhail (23:33):
It doesn't mean that you have to do some big, crazy thing in those four F-word areas.
CJ McPhail (23:37):
Correct. Correct.
Lindsay McPhail (23:37):
If you forget just remind yourself the four F-words.
CJ McPhail (23:40):
The four F-words.
Lindsay McPhail (23:40):
That's how I remember. Okay. You guys we love you. We're so honored and excited to be on this journey with you, to be learning with you, to be trying, and failing, and going after it, and succeeding, and all of the stuff. I love doing it and CJ loves doing it with you. Thank you for being here. Continue the conversation in our Outsider Nation, Facebook group.
CJ McPhail (24:03):
Yes. We're cheering you guys on, cheering you guys on.
Lindsay McPhail (24:05):
We'll put the link. All right. Have a great week. We love you.